Tag: dailyprompt

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

I came here tonight to write about WAVES, but saw the daily writing prompt and decided to hammer out WAVES another day…because this prompt is too good.

The experiences in life that have helped me grow the most have been the HARD ONES!

Every time.

Every damned time.

It’s almost like that saying “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” might have some truth to it.

Hard times (loss of a loved one, personal struggles, business struggles, etc) have all been such learning and growing times for me. Having your life upturned has that effect on a person. Mainly, it gave me perspective – because we all get bogged down in the day-to-day crap and think THAT is what matters. Then something shakes you to your core and you realize the day-to-day crap is just CRAP. The people (and experiences with those people) in your life is what matters WAY more than the stuff we find ourselves focused on. I’ve often heard that “lesson” in that you can drop dead and the people that you love will forever be changed and miss you while work will just replace you with another person. It’s easy to fall into that routine of spending a lot of your focus on your job and miss out on time with the PEOPLE who really matter.

Here’s where I struggle…DURING the hard times, it’s really hard for me to remember that IN that experience will likely come growth and learning. During a hard time I wonder why I’m being punished, what I did to deserve such hardship, or other equally unhelpful thoughts. I need to remember that old advice – everything happens for a reason, and sometimes it’s some time before we know the reason.

That is such simple, true, and relevant advice…and yet in the midst of a hard time I struggle with remembering that perhaps this trouble is leading me to something better. I struggle with remembering that the trouble may help me to grow, to learn, and to gain fresh perspective.

So, if you’re facing a hard time, just remember that many people find personal growth out of that difficulty. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, do what you can every day, and remember that life is constantly changing and evolving, so this hard time will NOT last forever. Reach out to your people. Accept help from others. Do something to help someone else. That’s always helpful to me in situations when I feel helpless – help someone else. There’s some sense of peace and calm from helping another person when you feel like you can’t even help yourself. You’ll be reminded of the qualities that you have that have gotten you this far. You may dig deeper into those and push a bit harder on in the trudge through this hard time.

Do you need a break? From what?

Yes. I DO need a break. I feel like my true answer is that I need a break from everything, but I’ll narrow it down to two things that I need a break from. I currently need a break from work and winter.

I’m not a fan of winter here in southern Illinois. Winter here consists of stretches of gray and damp weather, sprinkled with an occasional 50-60 degree sunny day, just to totally screw with your brain. I feel like some people I know see those sunny days as a reminder that winter doesn’t last forever and we’re getting closer. To me it’s just like a wet snowball right in the face to remind me that somewhere it’s sunny days and warm breezes every day and I’m just choosing to spend my winter HERE instead of there.

Work – I need a break from work. I think I have a 5-10 year attention span. Every 5-10 years I have this “I need to do something else” crisis and just cannot focus. The year of 2022 was a shit show for me, and right now I want a break from all of it, and work is right up there on the list. My work is really an ideal situation, so I hate to complain about it. My husband and I started this company and have grown it, but it’s HIS interest, HIS hobby, and HIS passion. I don’t feel that for the work we do every day like he does. Some days I stop and look at that and wonder what it’s like to enjoy something so much that you come home and go right back to it. Sometimes I wish I had the old 9-5 back, and could take a week off to grieve, process, or just mentally shut down and let myself reset. But being self-employed is not like that, so like all things, you take the good with the bad. Some days I get a lot of stuff done and some days I sit and stare at my computer wondering what the hell I’m even doing there.

I’m working on it. I’m working on me. I have a good life, and have so much to be thankful for. I want to enjoy the fruits of our labor from the last 20 years. I want to plan trips and have friends over for dinner. I want to visit family. I want to explore new places and revisit comfortable old ones. I want to find a balance in life. Balance – that’s an interesting concept. Perhaps having my life out of balance for so long has left me in this state of flux right now. It’s time to work on me, work on finding balance, and work on finding the joy in every day life.