happy birthday

Today, February 17th is Schuyler’s birthday. Schuyler is my nephew.

He was killed by an IED blast in Afghanistan in 2009.

Some may think today “was” his birthday and he “was” my nephew, and that’s ok, but that’s not how I see it. February 17th is – and always will be – his birthday. He will remain forever 25 in my mind – with a huge smile, a mischievous laugh, and a gripping hug that practically squeezed the air our of your every cell. A week from today, on the 24th, is the day he died…one week after his 25th birthday. Here and then gone.

I think about Sky a lot, but more so during this month, and even more during this week – the week between the day of his birth and the day of his death. Today, as thoughts of him and memories have passed through my mind I’ve smiled. Even now, typing this, I just have to smile. That’s really all he ever wanted – to make people smile. Right now I am feeling a little morose, as the thought just occurred to me – How much MORE laughter would we all have in our lives if he were still alive?

Wow – so much. So much more laughter.

He was truly a gift, and his presence in my life was a gift. Like everyone important to us who we lose, I long for more, but have to be grateful for the time we had.

That’s the real trick in this grief thing – remembering to be grateful for the time you had instead of focusing on what was lost.

So, happy birthday Schuyler. Thank you for the memories that you left with me; thank you for the people you brought to my life because of yours; thank you for whooshing through my head sometimes when I’m taking life way too seriously and reminding me to enjoy the ride; thank you for being the reason people choose to help others; thank you for being who you were and who you will always remain, in my heart and mind.