Today is Valentine’s Day and I’ve found that it’s a “holiday” that people have very mixed feelings about. Here’s what I think about VDay – and I’d love for you to comment (or even just personally reflect) on what the day means to you.
My childhood memories of Valentine’s Day are that Dad would bring Mom roses – and he’d bring me one too. I don’t remember it being a big production or anything, but it was just this nice little thing he did for my Mom and me. They may have gone out for dinner or something, but I just don’t recall it being a big deal. I remember the fun parties in school, where you’d decorate a shoe box and then put a card into your classmates boxes and then open them and enjoy all the little treats.
When the hubs and I started dating and were early married, I suppose we did some of the traditional things for Valentine’s Day, but honestly I don’t really remember. The hubs is a romantic so I’m sure he did sweet things, but that’s the thing about REAL romance – it’s NOT just about one day. I think that’s why VDay is just another day to me.
Here’s the thing – if my hubs doesn’t get me a card, flowers, candy, take me out for dinner, or any of those marketed Valentine’s Day “traditions” I do NOT think that he doesn’t love me. I don’t take it as a slight, I don’t take it as a bad sign, I don’t give it much thought. The day-to-day love and appreciation that we show one another is what matters. I’d rather him completely forget 2/14 but show me care and gratitude other days than have him go all out on VDay but then be uncaring the rest of the year.
So, what I’m saying folks is, don’t let one day define your ideas of your relationship. As a couple, do what seems right for YOU. If you’re new in love and things are all romantic and sweet and you want to make a romantic gesture today, go for it. But don’t forget that feeling on days where you’re not inundated by media and marketing with reminders that you should show that special person you care. Some flowers or a cheesy note in your loved ones car on a random Monday are just as (if not more) appreciated.
Also, if you find yourself feeling unappreciated or lonely in your relationship, think about GIVING what you want to RECEIVE. Ask your partner to do something with you – like take a walk, meet for lunch, or help cook dinner – whatever works in your situation, but just something you can do together and talk and break out of the routine that has maybe made things seem a bit mundane. Heck, try leaving them a cheesy love note in their car so they find it when they’re on their way to work! Just remember that no matter how “long” in love you may be, and how secure you are in your relationship, your partner ALWAYS will appreciate little reminders of how much you care.
On that note – everyone appreciates reminders that they’re cared for, so in the next week, I will be reaching out to 5 people in my life with a little note reminding them that I love, care, and appreciate them and what they bring to my life. Snail mail is so freaking awesome because nobody EVER expects anything GOOD to come via snail mail! So tap into the good old USPS and send a handwritten note to someone you love. Put some love and gratitude out into the world and see how that makes you feel – maybe you’ll even get some love and gratitude back.
The Neverending Lori 