Writing Prompt:

Yes. I DO need a break. I feel like my true answer is that I need a break from everything, but I’ll narrow it down to two things that I need a break from. I currently need a break from work and winter.

I’m not a fan of winter here in southern Illinois. Winter here consists of stretches of gray and damp weather, sprinkled with an occasional 50-60 degree sunny day, just to totally screw with your brain. I feel like some people I know see those sunny days as a reminder that winter doesn’t last forever and we’re getting closer. To me it’s just like a wet snowball right in the face to remind me that somewhere it’s sunny days and warm breezes every day and I’m just choosing to spend my winter HERE instead of there.

Work – I need a break from work. I think I have a 5-10 year attention span. Every 5-10 years I have this “I need to do something else” crisis and just cannot focus. The year of 2022 was a shit show for me, and right now I want a break from all of it, and work is right up there on the list. My work is really an ideal situation, so I hate to complain about it. My husband and I started this company and have grown it, but it’s HIS interest, HIS hobby, and HIS passion. I don’t feel that for the work we do every day like he does. Some days I stop and look at that and wonder what it’s like to enjoy something so much that you come home and go right back to it. Sometimes I wish I had the old 9-5 back, and could take a week off to grieve, process, or just mentally shut down and let myself reset. But being self-employed is not like that, so like all things, you take the good with the bad. Some days I get a lot of stuff done and some days I sit and stare at my computer wondering what the hell I’m even doing there.

I’m working on it. I’m working on me. I have a good life, and have so much to be thankful for. I want to enjoy the fruits of our labor from the last 20 years. I want to plan trips and have friends over for dinner. I want to visit family. I want to explore new places and revisit comfortable old ones. I want to find a balance in life. Balance – that’s an interesting concept. Perhaps having my life out of balance for so long has left me in this state of flux right now. It’s time to work on me, work on finding balance, and work on finding the joy in every day life.